Heart and Destiny..

Dear,
I have thought about it for long time why does the apparently visible tension between destiny and heart (will to better it) exists. Its true that if everything has been prerecorded why did men possess a heart. When we look at our self and the surroundings from the perspective of the world, there exists so much disparity , the feelings to do something evolves spontaneously where as the overview from the whole seems perfect. But this overview is visible only to a handful. Majority of us suffer and the truth is endlessly. What to do now ?
I think that there does not exist any tension. For most of us sufferings is a way of life and we accept it. There are some who fight against it. Sometimes they win sometimes they loose. In this process they develop a tendency of finding a permanent solution. They somehow can't compromise with the temporary solution. This tendency of theirs brings them to the search of truth. The search of truth brings them near to a person who knows it. A new learning process starts within themselves. He is made to recognize the cause of these problems which lies within the vicinity of their mind, not in the external world which they have earlier perceived. The solution thus changed, not to thrash the external chaos but to dilute the internal. But while going through the process, the faculties such as love, care, compassion, empathy etc are maximized within. Now the question is if nothing can be done then why these faculties magnify or enlarge? let us see an example of how a spiritual man provides a solution to a worldly problem.
1. "Sarada devi", the wife of " Sri Ramakrishna" once heard that one of her disciples lost her only son. When she went to the disciple's house she saw the disciple was crying very hard. She also started to cry more profusely then the disciple. Seeing her cry in such a way the pain of loosing her son vanished within the devotee. She hugged the divine Mother and said, Mother my pain is gone ,I am happy that I found you. And she really meant it .
2. The only son of a disciple of Lord Buddha died. The mother came running with a prayer to bring back her son from the claws of death. Lord Buddha said, "I will, but before that you have to bring a few mustard seeds from such a house where death did not enter". The disciple thought the work to be too easy. She went from one house to the next in search of mustard seeds where death did not enter, she searched till evening but she could not find such a house. She knew the truth of this world and did not struggle to accept it.
So, this is It my friend, this is the solution though we can't change the destiny, yet by feeling the pain of others we can minimize those to such a point which makes us easy to accept the inevitability. I welcome views and more discussion on this subject.
With love
Swami Probuddhananda.
(Anything which makes you feel for others are worthy. Sometimes I think what good I am to this world which is full of pain and sufferings. I am also trying to find an answer to this. I have seen my Master who dedicated His whole life for the propagation of Advaita among masses. I have seen strength coming out of factory workers, daily wage labors and very common people whom we ignore. I have seen the smile of freedom on their faces. I think this is the only solution, to preach unto mankind their divinity, oneness with the supreme. Worldly problems cannot be solved, this is a fact, lets culture the doctrine of courage and love.)
(Till you do not know the nature of Maya, its comparatively easy, you have somebody to blame. The problem starts when you start understanding the nature of Maya, it isn't still it is. The works of enlightened souls starts exactly after they have known Maya thoroughly. Its the third eye of Lord Shiva. Our scriptures have also supported this, Freedom of the Self and then work for humanity. Coming to a certain point, they also face the same question what we are discussing now. The solution they give is total acceptance and surrender. But, we have to work and then say this. Just by listening this from somebody or reading from somewhere won't help.)

A Letter of Swami Vivekananda.

Dear,
I present before you a letter written by Swami Vivekananda to Nivedita 2 years before His passing away. I am sure this will give you courage and a new energy to carry on the job you have been doing with such patience and love. Here is the letter for you, Swamiji
..................................................
Dear Nivedita, Paris
28th august, 1900

Such is life- grind, grind;
And yet what else are we to do? Grind, grind ! Something will come- some way will be opened. If it doesnot, as it probably never will- then, then- what great climax- death! Oh, what would the world do without you, Death ! Thou great healer !
The world, as it is, is not real, is not eternal, thank the Lord ! ! How can the future be any better? That must be an effect of this one- at least like this, if not worse !
Dreams, oh dreams ! Dream on ! Dream, the magic of dream, is the cause of this life, it is also the remedy. Dream, dream, only dream ! Kill dream by dream !
I am trying to learn French, talking to- here. Some are very appreciative already. Talk to all the world-of the eternal riddle, the eternal spool of fate- whose thread- end no one finds and everyone seems to find, at least to his own satisfaction, at least for a time-to fool himself a moment, is it?
Well, now great things are to be done- who cares for great things? Why not do small things as well? One is as good as the other. The greatest of little things, that is what the Gita teaches, bless the old book !!.....
I have not had much time to think of the body. So it must be well. Nothing is ever well here. We forget them at times and that is being well and doing well......
We play our parts here- good or bad. When the dream is finished and we have left the stage, we will have a hearty laugh at all this- of this only I am sure.
Yours etc.
Vivekananda.

Self Observation, a preview..

you have to start with the objects of the thoughts. As you let it go continuously, you see at one point that there is no object left for negation. This happens to them who are very sincere to this process of observation. When you find no more objects to be ... See Morenegated, then you or your 'I' becomes the object of observation. You dissect yourself into two parts, one I observing another I. The observer remains but the observed dissolves. This process also continues for a time, when you can recognize another existence within you by which you are observing. Your perception about yourself changes immediately. You start to feel that you are that consciousness by which this observation process is going on. As you feel, so you perceive. When this perception reaches its saturation point, you reach a (state) where you go beyond all observations, that is, the knower, the knowledge and the known becomes one. Then the subject or consciousness is manifested through a state called Samadhi.

thoughts about existence

The word Existence itself means theres something other than nothingness. No, nothingness is not the nature of existence. It seems though initially that everything fades away into a sea of voidness but the one who sees this remains, the one who says that there is viodness, empty. He who says so is not empty or void, Who is He? Going one step further, our serch for existence receives a U turn because the one we were searching seems void, now the question is, Who is the one who is searching? who is the seeker? The search for the seeker reveals the infinite knowledge within us and we indentify ourselves with that Infinite Knowledge as one. We are that Kowledge. As said in the vedas, Thou art that. This "that" is the supreme knowledge, the existence. So, then, we can say, I am this. The last thing one can say about truth is- It is. It is - indeed there, not nothingness, not voidness. This existence cannot be expressed because the knowledge by which we express the known becomes one here. The knower, the known and the knowledge becomes one. So, who will define whom, thus advaita or oneness.
how does water drops appear different as deep sea, waves and the surf? The existence is one, only the name and form differs. This name and form is called this world. You will never end this up by estimating how and why things appear this way. The only answer to this is to go deep and realize the self or Brahman or the Truth.reach that state of supreme silence where everything goes and mingles. That is the ultimate unity, the abode of all, the source. You, ma and all of us have come from that and will go back to that. And we are that. Realize the unity within. realize that you are not the body or mind or ego , you are the Self. These endless confusions are of the mind, so go beyond the limitations of the mind.

Three days...

"Just three days is needed. Three days of complete devotion and sincerity. God is realized within these three days". These words were coming as a thunderbolt to me while I was sitting somewhere in the corner in Bhagavan's house about 21 years ago. The whole house was charged up with a tremendous energy which flowed through His body. He kept on saying "What more do you want except God. How do you live without God......" as he kept on saying I could feel that this tremendous energy had penetrated in my heart and opened up every corners of it. It was as if my whole heart and body were ignited by the flame of that unflickering fire ball which was approaching me with utmost intensity. I was flowing with these words, burning as the fire of His words wanted to burn me. But, a very tiny part of me couldn't give up everything. As I found my whole heart completely in tune with His words with that great intensity, a similar intensity was also exerted by me to protect that small tiny place of utopia that I had in my heart. My individuality, my desires, my dreams were kept very secured in that very small area of that part of my heart where I didn't want even Bhagavan to enter. I could open up my whole heart for Him, but was totally against giving up an inch of land that I had within me. As Bhagavan was talking to the people occasionally He would look at me and with the eye contact I could feel that Bhagavan knew about the existence of this little bit of space within me. The more powerful the words were the more strength I applied to protect myself. But as time rolled by I was loosing control over that intimate and most lovable space of mine. I could feel that His words were making explosion within my heart. And at anytime I would give up. The last time I remember to have an eye contact with Him was when I found myself completely defenseless. I knew that He is coming inside and I had no more power to resist but at that very moment He stopped. He went out of the room into the garden. Leaving the room completely motionless. I knew that though He didn't say a word yet He could have annihilated me at any time, but he didn't, as if He was waiting for me to offer Him that space within me with respect, reverence and love
I left His house and came to my home directly and I went into that room which was used as a temple in our house. Closed the door and sat into meditation that the next three days will be the days of His. Amazingly that small tiny piece of space that existed within me and I thought them very trivial didn't vanish.Time rolled. Now I was not that young boy of sixteen. Now I am a professional working in the world which was full of chaos, tension and restlessness. In me I wanted respite. Somehow. With all possible efforts I couldn't reach that tranquility. After many failed attempts I knelt down before the photograph of my master Bhagavan. Show me a way. I prayed Oh God protect me . As I prayed I could feel the stillness penetrating the surface of my mind from within. Within a moment I saw all my thoughts have vanished and within that stillness came a word "Observe yourself". This was not a word. This was infact a solution which I was bestowed. I didn't have to observe though I became the observer. Completely unattached from every thoughts and actions and from this external world. I could feel myself as an alien who came here just to see this world. Within two days of such a stage I had no world anywhere. The observer became my world. My soul's world. I was observing the observer. On the third day in the evening I roamed in the veranda of our rented house which I shared with my friends and colleagues. There was no electricity and my colleagues were playing carom board as I was roaming around. With in a moment I could feel a strong internal pull which was complemented with an external push and I found myself in the bed within seconds. That is what I can remember. When I came back I didn't need to observe anymore. I didn't need to know whether I was the observer or the observed or the observation. I knew I was I which doesn't need any expression. After long time I came and knelt again near the photograph of Bhagavan and this time with folded hands said, " today I completed those three days. I needed 5 years to reach this 3 days in my life".

Now the eighth letter of Swami Pavitranandji follows....

Sri Ramakrishna Saranam

Janai,
29-09-1979

Dear,

I received the news of your exact mental condition through your letter. The impossible becomes possible only if you have faith in God.
You have to rotate the key exactly in the opposite direction in which it was locked -then only it will be unlocked. Remaining as a householder you have to practice inner renunciation -that is influencing your mind with God. I am well by the Grace of Sri Thakur. Know my best wishes.

Yours,

Maharaj.

...from the diary of Siddhartha- 1

In the year 1978 in the house of Sri Guruma in Janai, He met His Guru. His Guru was Swami Pavitranandaji. After taking permission from Ma Sarada Devi, Swami Krishnananda came out of Belur Math and engaged himself in extreme spiritual austerity for twenty five years in the forests of Rakab in Purulia district in the state of West Bengal. This is where He had attained Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Swami Pavitranandaji was initiated by Him and because of His sincerity in spiritual practices and austerity, and a very sharp intellect, He also attained Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Bhagavan was attracted by the heavenly and blissful appearance, calmness and a very sweet love for all in Swami Pavitranandaji. In His discriminatory mind came a flash of thought that how could this old monk remain so blissful when His only support is on alms. Surely should He gain such a treasure by which this proverb is justified 'Attaining That treasure by which no other treasures are valued...'. Bhagavan received His initiation from Him. Swamiji was also very satisfied by initiating Him. He used to always praise Bhagavan wholeheartedly. The sharp intellect of Sri Bhagavan, love and dedication for His Master and the equanimity of mind and words made Sri Bhagavan very near and dear to His Master. In His first letter He indicated about this. He wrote 'Though I have initiated many, yet by initiating you I received peace and bliss. Initiating into Sannyasa or Brahmacharyya has given me pleasure in all respects, but by initiating a householder, man or woman, this kind of bliss was rare. Know that I have faith in you. I expect sure success in your life.' Swami Pavitranandaji used to consider Bhagavan as Lord Shiva who have appeared from the crest of the earth. Because Sri Bhagavan had to live in Guwahati, He could not remain close to His Master, still Swami Pavitranandaji explained Bhagavan the highest philosophy of Advaita Vedanta through some letters because He knew that Bhagavan was gifted by a extraordinary genius and pure mind. At that time there was a violent movement going on is Assam, but He continued with His austerity silently within this violence, far from the notice of the masses. The consequences of this violence where such that nobody could consider themselves as safe, at any time one could lose his life. People used to stay in their houses with fear. At this time also He came out fearlessly to protect the oppressed. A victim of violence and cruelty in the external world, Sri Bhagavan was engaged in extreme austerity to attain oneness in the internal world. After some time, according to the advice of His Master, He left the world of theater. That stage which has given Him endless name, fame and respect. In His letters Swamiji had written -'A proverb heard in the childhood is coming to my mind "I got a knife instead of a drum. Dhum, dhum, dhum..." at that time I didn't understand the meaning, but now it's clear to me. What is the drum? It is the sound of name and fame. And what is the knife? It is the easy, sharp Self-knowledge. Easy means simple, and knowledge means "Who am I?" This is the symptom of the pure heart. And what is this sharpness? Sharp, subtle intellect. For spiritual knowledge, intellect is must, and must is a simple and honest mind of a child. Then only this knife can kill the ignorance... Waiting eagerly for the news of your realization.
Yours,
Son, father and mother.'

This letter brought a new turn in the life of Sri Bhagavan. With some of His associates He started to discuss the teaching given to Him by Pavitranandaji. He took His mother, brothers and sisters to Pavitranandaji for initiation. Whoever came in contact with Bhagavan during this time was so much influenced by the heart-core austerity and sincerity towards the Self that they also started spiritual practices. His perception of the Self was so clear that it seemed to be very easy for the people who visited Him.
Presenting before you the 7th letter of Swamiji.

Sri Ramakrishna Saranam

Purulia,
07-09-1979

Dear,

I didn't receive your news for a long time. But there is a very subtle relationship between the master and the disciple. You might be definitely sensing some of this. Isn't it true?
I suffered a carbuncle for three months and I am fully cured just before two days. I went to Janai Ashram on the occasion of Guru Purnima on the 4th of July with this carbuncle from here. I was accompanied by a Brahmachary disciple, a married woman disciple and a married woman sister disciple of mine (whose inlaw's house is in Bankura) to Janai. The Guru Purnima celebration was nicely celebrated on 9th of July last. I returned to Purulia on the 15th of July accompanied by three of them, and was completely bed-ridden. Anyway, with the grace of Sri Sri Thakur I am completely cured now.
You write all your news after reading this letter and send it to Janai Ashram.
I hope that you have managed some time for your japa and meditation now. Read the books 'the science of Religion' and 'Jyana Yoga' by Swamiji¹ carefully and think about them. Write to me whenever you have any doubt.
Does the mind remain in deep slumber? And if it remains, how does it stay? And how is the place where it stays? -think about this. What is the difference between deep slumber and death? What is unconsciousness?
In the dreaming state the objects of dream, though are true, yet after the dreaming state (that is, when you become conscious) why does the dream and the objects of the dream seem to be false? Then who is the witness of this three states -conscious, dreaming and dreamless sleep? Doesn't this witness observe these three states? The witness observing or within this three states remains always one, because He is manifesting the three states but doesn't undergo any change. This means He is unmodified in all states and that is 'I' or the Self.
Try to meditate on the witness slowly and chant the name of God or meditate as you have been doing.
I am also going to Janai within eight days accompanied with a new Brahmachary. If you happen to come here during the Durga Puja let me know.
Know my best wishes.

Yours,

Father.

Vedanta Sadhana, letter-2

I am thankful to everybody for the response. Some of you have wished to know about the other letters. Its an endeavor to present them in the best of my capabilities. Bhagavan was initiated in the year 1978 by Swami Pavitrananda Maharaj, the disciple of Swami Krishnananda, who was in turn the disciple of Shri Shri Ma Sarada Devi, the holy consort of Shri Ramakrishna. As Bhagavan was a house holder and used to work in the Indian Railways in Guwahati, Assam and His Master lived in Purulia in West Bengal then, He had lesser opportunities to sit at the feet of Swami Pavitranandaji and learn the essence of Vedanta. So, correspondence through letters was the only medium. These letters are the only guide which lead Bhagavan to Nirvikalpa Samadhi in the year 1984. When I came to Bhagavan in the year 1989, I saw Him distributing these letters among common mass. He often used to take classes based upon these letters. These letters were later published in Bengali in the year1990. The letter follows:
Sri Ramakrishna Saranam
Purulia 08-08-1978
Dear,
I was in Janai from 13th July to 4th of august. I received your letter on the 5th after reaching here. Engage yourself in meditation and comprehension maintaining good health. You have to walk on the middle path between extreme austerity and relaxation. Your marriage is because of the karmas of your past life. Don't grieve, you have to walk on in your real path and goal by remaining here. There is no success in this path without strong determination. Read 'Jyana Yoga' by Swami Vivekananda very carefully and slowly and think about its essence. If any confusion arises write to me immediately. With the word 'Maya' an illusory bondage between time, space and causality( cause and effect) is explained. God is the only reality, and the rest is unreal. And our perception about God is refined gradually. God doesn't gradually refine itself, our 'antakarana' (mind, intellect, chitta*, and ego), or intellect is redefined gradually. God or Brahman is unchangeable, rest are all changeable. With the mercy of Sri Sri Thakur I am well. When you have registered your name in Sri Ramakrishna's hospital, then you need not to worry, the disease will be cured. Therefore there is no room for any thoughts of despair. Know my best wishes.
Yours,
Swami Pavitrananda Maharaj *
(Chitta- that faculty of mind which always seeks pleasure.)