Another change came into the life of the lover of Truth, Bhagavan. He saw that there is a huge gap between the ideal and behavior of man and no worldly ideal is self-sufficient in itself. Though these ideals gives man some good thoughts yet they are incapable of make them fulfilled in all respect. Doesn't life have any truth in itself? Is there no value for the selfless love in this world? He was completely depressed by this realization and wanted to end His life, but at that moment His life took a U turn. He came across a poetry written by Swami Vivekananda 'To an early violet'. This poem brought about a altogether new dimension in his life. Sri Bhagavan started to read the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. He used to carry one photograph of Thakur Ramakrishna with Him always. He was completely tied up into a relationship of love with Sri Thakur. An incident bears the testimony of His love towards Sri Thakur. We all know about the Indian Railways Strike in the 70's. His involvement into this movement costed Him His job. But He was not at all moved. He had an option to get back His job by compromising with His higher authorities, but He didn't opt for that. Influenced by the life of Sri Thakur, His love for Truth had increased a thousand folds. Sri Thakur had said that He protects Him who stands firm on Truth. Having complete faith in His words, He prayed to Thakur 'I want you'. 'I will not seek help from anyone'. 'I will hold your words and stay firm even in hunger'. This devotee of Sri Thakur didn't have to stay without food for a single day. After sometime His job was restored. He was more devoted towards His God now. One day Sri Thakur appeared before Him and said, 'Everything will happen to you'. Bhagavan was thrilled. He knew for certain that there is the existence of God; He can be realized, but to realize God a Self-Realized Master is needed. But where is this Master? He started searching. In various temples and monasteries. At last He met His Guru.
Here is the 6th letter written by His Master, Swami Pavitranandaji.
Sri Ramakrishna Saranam
Purulia,
19-07-1979
Dear,
I received the postcard and M.O.(Money Order) of rupees 10 and the few lines written on the M.O. by you.
Four of us went from Purulia to Janai Ashram on the 5th of July and returned on the 15th of July after completion of the festival. The festival was carried out beautifully and in a organized way by the grace of Sri Thakur and Sri Ma.
I will stay here for one and half months and then go back to Janai again. Let's see what is the divine wish of Sri Thakur.
This world which is perceptible by the senses - does it have it's existence outside? Or -it's existence is in the mind? Because in the dreaming state the mind is divided into two parts: subject and object. The subjective mind becomes the observer of the objective mind. The observer is more true than the observed, the observed may be many but the observer is one and undivided.
'I know the pot'. In this phenomena, the knower of pot is 'I', but that 'the pot is known to me', is also what I know. That means, my knowledge about the pot is also known to me. Then who is this second 'I', the observer or the self-manifested Brahman? In this way, while discriminating 'not this, not this' we find the real 'I'. This is called the discrimination between the Self (real) and non-Self (the unreal). With this, where and how does the existence of the unreal 'I' remain while you are in deep sleep?
I am well. Know my best wishes.
Yours,
Pavitrananda Maharaj.
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